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Monday, October 26, 2009

losing drive

Have you experienced losing the drive on something? Something that you're really passionate about? In just one glimpse, everything suddenly turns blurry. Tipong no matter how much you try to regain everything, it seems it's too late in saving even just a minute portion. I just wished it's like charging a cellphone when it goes dead-batt. Or restarting the ignition pag namatayan ka ng makina sa EDSA. But it ain't that simple.

And I'm experiencing it now. I'm losing the drive. I'm losing the passion. And I'm tired.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

unluckiest employee

If there is one, I should be the most viable candidate. I dunno but ever since I came back, I always need to work doubly hard just to get what I think I deserve. Who would have expected that even the clothing allowance back in 2006 , I should justify my eligibility of receiving it. I needed to remind everyone involved to check my records. Afterwhich, I again needed to remind them of my scheduled December promotion as endorsed by my ex-manager upon my return. Then, another grueling year of very very very challenging projects. And another justification and a gentle reminder of our promotion. Then, the most challenging year ever. Borders, Galaxy, and Kaldi in one calendar year. But still, they thought that I'm still raw for the next level. A bit hard to accept but I had no choice. I had to wait yet again. Come July, I got it! Finally, I was noticed. But it took more that 3 months for it to take effect. It's October already and we still haven't received our retro pay. And what hurts the most is the adjustment that I have received. Yes I understand the justification of the increase. But I can confidently say that I am worth more than the 5% increase that they gave me. I just can't understand why everything seems to happen to me. Yes, just me. I kept on weighting things out, justifying both sides, but it's really hard to understand. And here I am now, still waiting for the final say. Still waiting what my next move should be. It seems that no matter how much I prove myself, I always come short of people's expectations. Am I just so unlucky? Coz no matter how much I feel comfortable and confident with how I perform, the system somehow makes me feel otherwise. Times like these, I just wished that Sir Rico is still here with us. I missed his guidance and concern for me. Haayz.