Yeah I am. Especially after reading that bulletin at 4am Saturday morning. Just before sending a rush request, a favor for an Accounts person. FOUR IN THE MORNING!!! And that just ruined my morning.
Sorry Mitch for ruining yours too. Pero wala akong masabihan. I'm really upset. So upset na gusto ko nang gumawa agad ng resignation letter.
Ok. I know some people would react on how I reacted. Or maybe more people would understand why I'm feeling this way. And maybe a number, or a lot, would feel the same thing I'm feeling now.
Just talked to a former office colleague and a very good friend. I just want to know if what I'm feeling is valid. Or baka nagbibitteran lang ako. Fortunately, I've learned na marami na pala kaming napa-HUWAAT! And I'm sure isang malaking gulo to come Monday morning.
Ok, here's the deal. I have no complaints (at least major issues) against that person. Maybe, he/she did something to deserve what he/she got. Actually, he/she's been a friend eversince we started here. Even after I came back (stupid of me!).
I just find it surprising that he/she gets promoted year after year (sometimes months after months). I mean there are also other employees here na halos mamatay na doing very difficult projects. May ibang anak din ang Diyos na deserving for a promotion!
Ok, I chose not to blog about an incident that happened last January. I thought na ok na, I'll just let it pass. But after hurting my ego while reading that stupid HR Bulletin, I've changed my mind. Hope this clears my intentions of blogging about my desperation.
Last January, we were due for evaluation for possible promotion. We got promoted January 2008 (after months of literally begging, the downside of having no stat director). Personally, I expected an evaluation one year after. At least an assessment of how I performed in my new position. Yes there was a midyear evaluation (for some, hindi naman ako kinausap personally for the nth time!) that happened. Pero that was not valid for promotion since I just got promoted 5 months before.
So December came, I chose to remind our very efficient (and this is full of sarcasm) HR manager na we were due for evaluation ng December. I did that para di na maulit yung nangyari before na nakalimutan kami ni Mitch. Come first week of January, walang balita. So we waited. Second week. Still no news. Nung 3rd week na wala pa rin I chose to ask her personally right after the Operations meeting. I didn't expect that that would progress to a heated argument. Yes, between me and the very efficient and lovable (still full of sarcasm) HR Manager. And hindi ko yun pinalagpas kahit nasa harapan kami ng Operations Director and Finance Manager.
So here's what happened. I was still hopeful that I'll be getting a postive feedback. I asked her of any news regarding our evaluation. Then she spilled it out. She told us na hindi pa daw kami due since kakatapos lang nung midyear evaluation. I told her na kaka 1 year lang namin sa position, how would we know how we performed kung hindi kami maeeval. Sufficient na daw yung midyear. So medyo nag-init na ulo ko. Pano maeevaluate yung performance namin after just 5 months. And no matter how good we were, syempre hindi pa kami ipopromote nun since kakapromote nga lang namin nung January. Ang sabi nya ganun talaga. Once a year lang naeevaluate. So sabi ko parang malas pala kami since napromote kami ng January, na kelangan pa namin magantay ng 1.5years para lang ma-evaluate for a possible promotion. Ang sagot nya, ganun daw talaga. Syempre hindi na ako nakapagpigil. Sorry sa mga friends ko from Accounts ah. So medyo na-off ako dun so ang sabi ko bakit sa Accounts napopromote kahit less that 1 year, sometimes two levels higher pa. Ang sagot nya discretion daw ng Director yun. So sabi ko eh wala nga kaming director. Sino titingin ng ginagawa namin. Hindi naman lahat ng gawin namin eh alam ng Accounts Director. So pano yun? Syempre ang kausap namin eh yung mga RA, RE, SRE, at managers. Nakakarating lang sa kanila pag may problema na. Pano naman yung mga magagandang nagawa namin, hindi ba enough yun? Ang sagot ng sobrang efficient at ever-helpful (overflowing with sarcasm) ay nagpaikot ng mundo ko ng 360 degrees raised to infinity. Ang sabi nya, and I quote, "Caloi, ganun talaga. Magkaiba kayo ng proseso, Accounts sila, support LANG kayo." WHAT THE FUCK?! Did she just said that?! Yun na lang ang huli kong naalala before muntikan nang pumutok ang mga litid ng utak ko. Wala na akong pakialam kung andun si Lolo Terry at Mam Peth. Wala na akong pakialam kung maraming tao sa 10th floor at pagsakay namin sa elevator. Ang naisip ko na lang, you just didn't say that! Especially not to me! WRONG WORDS! WRONG PERSON! And then war began!
My temperature rose! Tumaas boses ko. Wala na akong pakialam kung HR manager pa sya. Ang sa akin lang, hindi ka deserving sa position mo. Dapat equality ang pinaglalaban mo since HR ka, ikaw dapat ang lalapitan ng mga tao. Pero sa bibig mo pa nanggaling yun. Ayoko nang idetalye kung ano yung mga binitawan kong salita sa elevator. Pero that made her uneasy. And I'm sure that made her sorry na sinabi nya yung mga sinabi nya sa harap ni Caloi. So when the elevator opened sa 3rd floor, I immediately stepped out and went straight to our room. Yes I cried. Not because I was weak. I cried (habang kausap si Mam Weng) kasi sobrang galit ako. I was stupid of returning. Alam ko naman na nangyayari na yung ganito. Especially now that wala na si Sir Rico and Irene who were fighting for us before. Ngayon, it was our fight. Kami na lang. Against the biggies.
So the next day, I emailed her. I said sorry. Not because of the things that I've said. But how I said them. I wasn't sorry kasi nabastos ko sya because she's the HR Manager. I was sorry because nabastos ko sya knowing na mas matanda sya sa akin. I was ashamed because I lost respect sa kanya knowing na mas matanda sya sakin and not because mataas position nya. Again, I won't put into details yung mga napagusapan namin sa email. Pero her reply was worse than the words na sinabi nya the day before. I just chose not to answer them punto per punto. But I still have the emails at my Outlook, saved for future reference. Even the reply I sent to Mam Weng. Actually she was asking me if ifoforward na ba nya kay Mam Judy yung usapan namin pero I declined. The funny thing was, kaya pala gabi na nakapagreply si Anne Curtis sa email ko nung umaga eh nayanig na naman ang mundo nya. She actually consulted several people before she drafted her reply. And to Mam Weng's description, hindi daw mapakali si Anne Curtis pagkabasa ng email ko. Well, like I've said, WRONG PERSON. Not Caloi. Definitely not Caloi. Tsk tsk.
So going back to the HR Bulletin, I'm still pissed. So many questions. Pero ang nangunguna eh yung WHY?! Bakit? I mean, there are more people who deserve that promotion. Kaya nga nagsipag-resign ang mga tao eh. Lalo na ngayon. I'm sure this will be an issue. Especially to us!
So do I think I deserve to be promoted? Isa lang ang sagot ko dyan. WHY NOT?!
Again, I have no issues with him/her. It's just that I felt na unfair sa maraming tao na deserving din sa promotion. Na halos ikamatay nila matapos lang ang mga mahihirap na projects. Sana lang they promote people equally. Especially now that RI has left us. Naiisip ko lang, pano kaya kung kami namang Stat ang magsipagresign. Mararamdaman kaya nila yung kawalan namin?
Sorry. I just needed to vent out the things na gumugulo at nagpapasikip ng dibdib ko lately. And to answer the comments sa Facebook shout-out ko, YES! I'm doing something, actually I just did. And kahit na sabihin nila na di ko kayang panindigan yung mga binitiwan ko before about resigning, 2009 will be my last year at PSRC. And I won't be commiting the same mistake I did last 2006. Stupid of me!
Sorry Mitch for ruining yours too. Pero wala akong masabihan. I'm really upset. So upset na gusto ko nang gumawa agad ng resignation letter.
Ok. I know some people would react on how I reacted. Or maybe more people would understand why I'm feeling this way. And maybe a number, or a lot, would feel the same thing I'm feeling now.
Just talked to a former office colleague and a very good friend. I just want to know if what I'm feeling is valid. Or baka nagbibitteran lang ako. Fortunately, I've learned na marami na pala kaming napa-HUWAAT! And I'm sure isang malaking gulo to come Monday morning.
Ok, here's the deal. I have no complaints (at least major issues) against that person. Maybe, he/she did something to deserve what he/she got. Actually, he/she's been a friend eversince we started here. Even after I came back (stupid of me!).
I just find it surprising that he/she gets promoted year after year (sometimes months after months). I mean there are also other employees here na halos mamatay na doing very difficult projects. May ibang anak din ang Diyos na deserving for a promotion!
Ok, I chose not to blog about an incident that happened last January. I thought na ok na, I'll just let it pass. But after hurting my ego while reading that stupid HR Bulletin, I've changed my mind. Hope this clears my intentions of blogging about my desperation.
Last January, we were due for evaluation for possible promotion. We got promoted January 2008 (after months of literally begging, the downside of having no stat director). Personally, I expected an evaluation one year after. At least an assessment of how I performed in my new position. Yes there was a midyear evaluation (for some, hindi naman ako kinausap personally for the nth time!) that happened. Pero that was not valid for promotion since I just got promoted 5 months before.
So December came, I chose to remind our very efficient (and this is full of sarcasm) HR manager na we were due for evaluation ng December. I did that para di na maulit yung nangyari before na nakalimutan kami ni Mitch. Come first week of January, walang balita. So we waited. Second week. Still no news. Nung 3rd week na wala pa rin I chose to ask her personally right after the Operations meeting. I didn't expect that that would progress to a heated argument. Yes, between me and the very efficient and lovable (still full of sarcasm) HR Manager. And hindi ko yun pinalagpas kahit nasa harapan kami ng Operations Director and Finance Manager.
So here's what happened. I was still hopeful that I'll be getting a postive feedback. I asked her of any news regarding our evaluation. Then she spilled it out. She told us na hindi pa daw kami due since kakatapos lang nung midyear evaluation. I told her na kaka 1 year lang namin sa position, how would we know how we performed kung hindi kami maeeval. Sufficient na daw yung midyear. So medyo nag-init na ulo ko. Pano maeevaluate yung performance namin after just 5 months. And no matter how good we were, syempre hindi pa kami ipopromote nun since kakapromote nga lang namin nung January. Ang sabi nya ganun talaga. Once a year lang naeevaluate. So sabi ko parang malas pala kami since napromote kami ng January, na kelangan pa namin magantay ng 1.5years para lang ma-evaluate for a possible promotion. Ang sagot nya, ganun daw talaga. Syempre hindi na ako nakapagpigil. Sorry sa mga friends ko from Accounts ah. So medyo na-off ako dun so ang sabi ko bakit sa Accounts napopromote kahit less that 1 year, sometimes two levels higher pa. Ang sagot nya discretion daw ng Director yun. So sabi ko eh wala nga kaming director. Sino titingin ng ginagawa namin. Hindi naman lahat ng gawin namin eh alam ng Accounts Director. So pano yun? Syempre ang kausap namin eh yung mga RA, RE, SRE, at managers. Nakakarating lang sa kanila pag may problema na. Pano naman yung mga magagandang nagawa namin, hindi ba enough yun? Ang sagot ng sobrang efficient at ever-helpful (overflowing with sarcasm) ay nagpaikot ng mundo ko ng 360 degrees raised to infinity. Ang sabi nya, and I quote, "Caloi, ganun talaga. Magkaiba kayo ng proseso, Accounts sila, support LANG kayo." WHAT THE FUCK?! Did she just said that?! Yun na lang ang huli kong naalala before muntikan nang pumutok ang mga litid ng utak ko. Wala na akong pakialam kung andun si Lolo Terry at Mam Peth. Wala na akong pakialam kung maraming tao sa 10th floor at pagsakay namin sa elevator. Ang naisip ko na lang, you just didn't say that! Especially not to me! WRONG WORDS! WRONG PERSON! And then war began!
My temperature rose! Tumaas boses ko. Wala na akong pakialam kung HR manager pa sya. Ang sa akin lang, hindi ka deserving sa position mo. Dapat equality ang pinaglalaban mo since HR ka, ikaw dapat ang lalapitan ng mga tao. Pero sa bibig mo pa nanggaling yun. Ayoko nang idetalye kung ano yung mga binitawan kong salita sa elevator. Pero that made her uneasy. And I'm sure that made her sorry na sinabi nya yung mga sinabi nya sa harap ni Caloi. So when the elevator opened sa 3rd floor, I immediately stepped out and went straight to our room. Yes I cried. Not because I was weak. I cried (habang kausap si Mam Weng) kasi sobrang galit ako. I was stupid of returning. Alam ko naman na nangyayari na yung ganito. Especially now that wala na si Sir Rico and Irene who were fighting for us before. Ngayon, it was our fight. Kami na lang. Against the biggies.
So the next day, I emailed her. I said sorry. Not because of the things that I've said. But how I said them. I wasn't sorry kasi nabastos ko sya because she's the HR Manager. I was sorry because nabastos ko sya knowing na mas matanda sya sa akin. I was ashamed because I lost respect sa kanya knowing na mas matanda sya sakin and not because mataas position nya. Again, I won't put into details yung mga napagusapan namin sa email. Pero her reply was worse than the words na sinabi nya the day before. I just chose not to answer them punto per punto. But I still have the emails at my Outlook, saved for future reference. Even the reply I sent to Mam Weng. Actually she was asking me if ifoforward na ba nya kay Mam Judy yung usapan namin pero I declined. The funny thing was, kaya pala gabi na nakapagreply si Anne Curtis sa email ko nung umaga eh nayanig na naman ang mundo nya. She actually consulted several people before she drafted her reply. And to Mam Weng's description, hindi daw mapakali si Anne Curtis pagkabasa ng email ko. Well, like I've said, WRONG PERSON. Not Caloi. Definitely not Caloi. Tsk tsk.
So going back to the HR Bulletin, I'm still pissed. So many questions. Pero ang nangunguna eh yung WHY?! Bakit? I mean, there are more people who deserve that promotion. Kaya nga nagsipag-resign ang mga tao eh. Lalo na ngayon. I'm sure this will be an issue. Especially to us!
So do I think I deserve to be promoted? Isa lang ang sagot ko dyan. WHY NOT?!
Again, I have no issues with him/her. It's just that I felt na unfair sa maraming tao na deserving din sa promotion. Na halos ikamatay nila matapos lang ang mga mahihirap na projects. Sana lang they promote people equally. Especially now that RI has left us. Naiisip ko lang, pano kaya kung kami namang Stat ang magsipagresign. Mararamdaman kaya nila yung kawalan namin?
Sorry. I just needed to vent out the things na gumugulo at nagpapasikip ng dibdib ko lately. And to answer the comments sa Facebook shout-out ko, YES! I'm doing something, actually I just did. And kahit na sabihin nila na di ko kayang panindigan yung mga binitiwan ko before about resigning, 2009 will be my last year at PSRC. And I won't be commiting the same mistake I did last 2006. Stupid of me!
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